When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of paradise- Paradise by Coldplay
The song was on replay in my head. As I lay in the hospital bead, hoping this surgery would work. That the second brain surgery would stop my brain from leaking fluid. I had already endured one, long thirteen-hour surgery that opened my skull to remove a fist size, meningioma brain tumor. I thought I was in the clear. Eight weeks later fluid began building in my head, resulting in a cranial spinal fluid leak. My still healing incision need to be reopened and the screws that held my skull together to to be unscrewed. Four more hours under, and I woke up with a tube attached to my spine, draining the fluid milliliter by milliliter, hour by hour for a week and a half. This was even harder to endure, because I thought I had conquered this tumor the first surgery.
I patiently waited for my brain to drain, hour by hour, day by day, as I looked out the window of the cold, gray city skyline of my window. I hoped my life would be normal after this, even with the looming weeks of radiation to come. Would I survive it and be a normal person again? The dark, stormy skies matched the mood in the hospital room. But it was March, the month things change. The month when winter lets go of it grip and flower start peeking through the soil. New beginnings. My new beginning.
Three and half years later…..I am still alive, not just alive but living. Not just a survivor, but a thriver.